Monday, September 25, 2006

Satire is the Highest Form of Flattery

Yipee! I’m accepted!

There’s this great Pacific Northwest SF/F convention called RustyCon. They aren’t huge but they’ve survived over the years and I like the feel of a convention under 50,000 people. People tend to be friendly and fights rarely break out on the panels. Yeah, there are egos and politics (like any con) but the art show is always beautiful, the panels lively, and the special events are worth the price of the weekend admission.

Year ago, RustyCon was the first con to have Windstorm staff panel and host special events (like Jennifer’s killer “Pitch It!” sessions) and I enjoyed seeing my friends in their element dissecting the corporate machine and refusing to go all Klingon or Borg to win over the Fab Geek demographic. (Plus, Cris looks hot in a tie and when Jennifer wears her spicy little Hawaiian dress... well, let’s just say that fences are jumped.)

Hm. Where was I?

The relationship between RustyCon and Windstorm goes back about six years or so. When I interned at Windstorm, all the staff spoke highly of the convention. I think it was fitting for them to always root for the local indie, you know? About two years ago, Windstorm started doing these anthologies with conventions. The convention picks a theme, Cris (as Senior Editor) reviews all the story submissions that come in, and then the convention supplies the artwork for the cover and the best stories are published. Their first one was “Northwest Passages” with a convention called Cascadia. In my opinion, it’s a great anthology with some really excellent stories though I don’t care for the cover very much. Luckily, the stories totally make up for it.

Then Windstorm worked with some writers groups to publish collections of members stories. That was cool too. After a few of these came in (to be published at the end of this year), Windstorm approached RustyCon about an anthology with a Windstorm/RustyCon shared themed: Slugs. See, RustyCon has long had rainy day feel and a slug mascot. Windstorm also has a slug mascot (this is the Pacific North*wet* after all) named Carl... including a plush and an eight foot long, four foot high have-slug, will-travel version. So the anthology developed into a collection of science fiction and fantasy (SF/F) stories with one requirement: They must feature a slug (the creature). The stories could be funny or serious.

Now, because RustyCon is smaller, and its up to convention to pay the contributors (Windstorm pays royalties to the convention, though subsidiary rights are split with the contributors), the pay for contributors wasn’t so high. Also, not everyone has a SF/F story with a slug sitting unpublished in a drawer or just waiting to be written. I believe the Cascadia anthology (that paid pretty darn well) wound up with more than 1000 submissions. Amazingly though, according to the chart on Windstorm’s wall, the “Tales of the Slug” anthology received more than 300 submissions!

One of those submissions, postmarked in Seattle, Washington (not Bremerton), with a Seattle return address and the name Patricia Kellsey listed as the author, was entitled “The Starship Expendable.” Ms. Kellsey listed her email as a hotmail account that included a string of random letters and numbers. Yesterday, Ms. Kellsey signed in to her inbox... and there was a message from Mari Garcia, the director of Windstorm’s legal department, delightfully informing Ms. Kellsey that her story had been excepted.

Heh heh heh.

I wanted my story to be judged on its merits. I know Cris would never publish garbage but I wanted a truly cold read. I even threw Cris off by reading her a faux story over the phone as if it were the one I was working on for the anthology. Again, I *know* Cris is fair but I had something to prove.

As a game designer, what I do is about back story and concepts. I don’t create the artwork. I don’t layout the cards. I didn’t design the O.S.. I don’t find writing easy. I don’t believe in doing things half way. It either has to be excellent or I don’t do it at all. I labored over “The Starship Expendable.” I wanted to write a humorous, exciting, Star Trek-send up with lots of in jokes, great characters, a sexy undertone and tons of far-future tech. I wanted characters that weren’t white. A ship that wasn’t out to save the galaxy. And slugs. Not talking slugs or glided slugs. I wanted slugs. Brownish, yellowish, black-spotted banana slugs. The kind that eat the hostas in my yard by the leaf-load peacefully knowing that I planted them just for the sticky little buggers and I’ll plant more when they finish those off.

I wanted to be accepted as a creative force. Maybe not a force to be reckoned with, but at least a force to be acknowledged on the planet.

You want a sneak preview? All right. But just between us friends, okay? To get the rest of the story, go over right now (watch me be shameless like never before) and pre-order a copy of “Tales of the Slug” at http://www.windstormcreative.com/fandom/20856.htm.

* * *

“The Starship Expendable”
by E.J. Angel
Copyright July 1, 2006

Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Expendable. It’s five hundred fourteen year mission: To find new worlds, explore uncharted space... to make a crap load of maps for the Intergalactic Map & Chart Co., Ltd., LLC, (c), TM, Patent Pending.

Bren Torros took off her ear and stuck a microspanner into her head. Using the reflective surface of the egg-shaped portal window, she cycled her irises from brown, to gray, to green.

“Hot date, Torros?” A gray-clad crewman brushed past her in the narrow corridor, not breaking his stride as he gave her a smirk.

“Biosuite duty, smart ass,” Bren shot back. “Green is my pollen guard.”

“Nature finds a way, Torros!”

Bren flipped her retreating friend an interstellar bird and snapped her ear back on.

* * *

What do you think? Read the rest in January when “Tales of the Slug” ships to hosta-filled yards every where.

E.J.