Tonight, from 8 pm PST until 11:30 pm PST, five managers--General Manager, Votary Manager, CCG Manager, Production Manager and Online Manager--met online and discussed my future and the future of Mardi Gras 3000. No, not live or die type of future, but the fine details that make life worth living: the how, why, when and what. The nitty gritty. The chewy center of the Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop.
That's right my sweet friends. There have been changes large and small. I've added a fast and speedy link to subscribe to my blog (see the bottom of the sidebar) and my publisher has hired the Fab Five--the coveted manager positions have been filled.
Here's a link to Jennifer's post where she tells the interesting and even snarky and hilarious stories of the applicants:
http://www.mardigras3000.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=140
The MG3K Forum is becoming a fiction hub and the announcements, player registration, rankings, tournament announcements, and all the other great stuff--including places to suggest/request new Instants--is shifting over to the official website to launch at the end of May. Actually, it looks like everything is happening in May! Go, May!
The Starter Deck (retail edition)... In-character fiction... A new sourcebook... A trade paperback sourcebook... The website with chat rooms, characters, free online play... It's all coming in May.
While the managers were doing what they do so well (which is organize and collaborate to incredible ends), Jennifer (publisher) and I were chatting. She reminded me of the evil truth: The Fab Five have sixty days to blow her mind. She's not a big woman. She's barely out of her twenties. But darn if folks are set to shivering by her. At Windstorm, she can veto anything. There's no Board telling her what her to do or taking risk by vote. It rests on her shoulders. All of it. And now, here's five people who really, really, really want these jobs and who have to fight to keep them.
Sound mean? It isn't. The approach is: No free lunch. You want it, you fight for it. Yes, you were better than the other applicants but now show your stuff. Are you all talk or can you innovate? I *love* this part.
Now is when miracles happen.
E.J.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
Once Again, From On High
Hey, Blog Readers (is there a hip name for that? Peeps who peep?), here's the word from my over-worked, under-paid, really-mean, seriously strict, incredibly freaking brilliant, still-in-business-and-thriving-when-nineteen-other-small-presses-have-folded-in-the-last-five-years, publisher (also known, I guess, as Jennifer) on the process of selecting five managers to handle all things Mardi Gras 3000.
And now, those words from our sponsor... ah, publisher:
Thank you, everyone, for the amazing response to these five positions. Between the interest from forum members and subscribers to E.J.’s blog, we received a total of fifty-five applications that included more than two hundred pages of intent to succeed.
The shortest application was two pages of dense, market-supported analysis and conclusions for the General Manager position, followed with a single page, full-color design of an “Angel Games” display. The longest application, for the Online Manager position, was forty-nine pages of code, diagrams, network connections, screen captures, and URLs to existing mock ups.
The application breakdown was:
4 General Manager
3 Production Manager
26 CCG Manager
13 Online Manager
9 Votary Manager
In honesty, I am running a day behind with all of this incredible reading. I won’t have my final decision until tomorrow. However, if your proposal isn’t one of the final three I’m considering in each category, I will be contacting you today before 6 pm PST.
There were so many qualified applicants! There were so many applicants that I had no qualms about, no hesitations, and such amazing ideas, that I wish I had twice as many positions. My final decisions will be posted tomorrow, along with contact information for each new manager, and a short description of their background and their plans.
Thank you again, everyone, for all the time and energy you invested in this process. I am certain that the Mardi Gras 3000 universe will be richer because of this reorganization.
Jennifer
Now, back to our show... E.J.!
Personally, I was surprised there were so few applicants. I've heard from many more than fifty players who has asked how they can get in on the "ground floor" of this start-up venture. I always told people the same things:
Be a team player. Be funny. Be witty. Be loyal. Call and chat with Jennifer or Cris. Send fan fiction. Play. Play. Play.
I'm not disappointed, exactly, because Jennifer mentions that the applications looked really good. And I guess, when the time comes to really get down, dirty and work, the crowds do thin out. I think a lot of players think that working for a gaming company is all play testing... but even playing testing can be grueling!
Another interesting fact was that only three or four (I can't remember exactly what she told me--our talk was no names just a lot of numbers) forum members applied. I think the other applicants came from players who are blog readers. I suppose I understand this, though. The forum, without an empowered and paid VM (who doesn't have to check in with me all the time and stuff like that), can really, understandably, hit long, slow periods. I'm the first to admit that I don't really know how to keep members posting. The blog, on the other hand, is pretty constant (at least, it's easier for me to maintain a pace) so the fact that players "gather" around the blog makes sense.
Everyone who applied knew the game really well and a couple people mentioned playing in unofficial tournaments at stores who have taken product from cold calls! (That will be followed up on for sure.)
I like the idea of the managers maybe all being players first and foremost. There's something cool about that. Not business types but real gaming types. Except the Votary Manager position! That one should be an author, I think. Oh. And the General Manager position. That should be a suit. Oh... uh... hm.
Of course, my opinion isn't needed this time, and I am *so* okay with that. This whole organizing of the universe was, in a small part, to allow me to concentrate on
And now, those words from our sponsor... ah, publisher:
Thank you, everyone, for the amazing response to these five positions. Between the interest from forum members and subscribers to E.J.’s blog, we received a total of fifty-five applications that included more than two hundred pages of intent to succeed.
The shortest application was two pages of dense, market-supported analysis and conclusions for the General Manager position, followed with a single page, full-color design of an “Angel Games” display. The longest application, for the Online Manager position, was forty-nine pages of code, diagrams, network connections, screen captures, and URLs to existing mock ups.
The application breakdown was:
4 General Manager
3 Production Manager
26 CCG Manager
13 Online Manager
9 Votary Manager
In honesty, I am running a day behind with all of this incredible reading. I won’t have my final decision until tomorrow. However, if your proposal isn’t one of the final three I’m considering in each category, I will be contacting you today before 6 pm PST.
There were so many qualified applicants! There were so many applicants that I had no qualms about, no hesitations, and such amazing ideas, that I wish I had twice as many positions. My final decisions will be posted tomorrow, along with contact information for each new manager, and a short description of their background and their plans.
Thank you again, everyone, for all the time and energy you invested in this process. I am certain that the Mardi Gras 3000 universe will be richer because of this reorganization.
Jennifer
Now, back to our show... E.J.!
Personally, I was surprised there were so few applicants. I've heard from many more than fifty players who has asked how they can get in on the "ground floor" of this start-up venture. I always told people the same things:
Be a team player. Be funny. Be witty. Be loyal. Call and chat with Jennifer or Cris. Send fan fiction. Play. Play. Play.
I'm not disappointed, exactly, because Jennifer mentions that the applications looked really good. And I guess, when the time comes to really get down, dirty and work, the crowds do thin out. I think a lot of players think that working for a gaming company is all play testing... but even playing testing can be grueling!
Another interesting fact was that only three or four (I can't remember exactly what she told me--our talk was no names just a lot of numbers) forum members applied. I think the other applicants came from players who are blog readers. I suppose I understand this, though. The forum, without an empowered and paid VM (who doesn't have to check in with me all the time and stuff like that), can really, understandably, hit long, slow periods. I'm the first to admit that I don't really know how to keep members posting. The blog, on the other hand, is pretty constant (at least, it's easier for me to maintain a pace) so the fact that players "gather" around the blog makes sense.
Everyone who applied knew the game really well and a couple people mentioned playing in unofficial tournaments at stores who have taken product from cold calls! (That will be followed up on for sure.)
I like the idea of the managers maybe all being players first and foremost. There's something cool about that. Not business types but real gaming types. Except the Votary Manager position! That one should be an author, I think. Oh. And the General Manager position. That should be a suit. Oh... uh... hm.
Of course, my opinion isn't needed this time, and I am *so* okay with that. This whole organizing of the universe was, in a small part, to allow me to concentrate on
game design. No more hosting, organizing, cajoling, etc. Just game design. Of course, I'll still post and blog but hopefully my inbox won't be so packed and everyone will get their answers faster... and the universe will grow at the speed of light!
I eagerly await the opening of the five golden envelopes...
E.J.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
How Cool is That?
I met the coolest guy today. Stop laughing! I’m serious! (Pip, you’re a punk, and I everything your little mind is thinking. Everything!)
So I ran into this... problem... with my top secret project. I’ve been trying to find this... component... and it has been eluding me. I was starting to feel a little bit hopeless, I must admit. It didn’t help when I sent an image (without the component) to my publisher and held the phone up to her daughter. Sweetie Faith said, “I like your picture very much. It’s quite good.” Thank you, I told her with a big smile. Then she added, “I especially like the hat!”
There was no hat.
A few days later (once I’d stopped crying), I called Cris (Remember her? My editor?) and begged for her help. She didn’t miss a beat: “Email Kevin Radthorne.”
Okay. If you are an epic-fantasy fan and you don’t know who I’m talking about then you need to sell your signed, first edition of “The Hobbit” to someone who deserves it. Kevin writes rich fantasy set in a world that has a decidedly Asian flavor. The books (there are two, divided into four thick parts) are so engaging you’d forget that it all isn’t real if it weren’t for the gorgeous magick. They are worthy reads, by far.
Oh, but that’s not all, no, that’s not all!
Kevin also did all four of his book covers. I know, I know. How do I know all this cool insidery stuff? Well, I’m just kick-butt that way. And Kevin says he does his covers on the Biography page of his website (www.kevinradthorne.com). Actually, I know about Kevin because, as an intern at Windstorm back in the day, I unpacked boxes of his books as one of my first duties. I feel in love with his artwork then and have been thrilled (and often breathless!) with his growing collection of artwork at his website.
I *could* have emailed Kevin ages ago, of course. I mean, I’m allowed to be a fangrrl because that only proves that I’m human (which you already know so well). But I never have because... I don’t know... I just never have. But now I not only had permission to write Kevin but a REASON!
Yeah, “Hey, you’re so cool, I love your books and artwork,” is a reason but he probably gets, like someone else I know, forty million fan messages and even though I *love* hearing from folks, I also sometimes feel overwhelmed. I want to answer everyone but, if I do, I will seriously run out of time to design anything new... let alone more MG3K expansions. I hate even saying that because I truly *do* love hearing from all the players. I haven’t heard a complaint in forever and there have been no more proposals of marriage (see what reprinting emails in my blog does?) and so I do feel a little thrill when my inbox fills up... but I also feel bad that folks have to wait so long to just get a little “Hey, thanks!” from pokey me.
Where was I?
Got it. So now I had a reason to write to Kevin and... I... did! Yay, me! Now here’s for the shocker: Kevin wrote back. Yes! I proposed a solution to my missing component problems and he graciously and gracefully told me, uh, that my solution sucked, basically. No, seriously, he actually just told me about this other way of getting what I needed—and tons of them in a handful of variants! It was so awesome.
Have you ever had a deal where you write to a stranger and they’re an ass? I mean, like they’re rude, brusk and heartless? Goodness knows, I’ve had this happen. Heck, I’ve had this happen with people I know! LOL! Writing Kevin was the exact OPPOSITE of that. He was helpful, patient, and articulate. But now for the kicker:
Kevin might (just might!) work with me on the new, top secret, super cool, totally amazing, international team project! OMG!
...
...
...
Wow. I just fainted. Hey, he might be too busy for a CCG (which can be draining and overwhelming in itself) but just the *idea* of working with him is amazing.
I must go to sleep now and dream of kick-butt characters all rendered in Radthorne style.
Hii-yahh! ;)
E.J.
So I ran into this... problem... with my top secret project. I’ve been trying to find this... component... and it has been eluding me. I was starting to feel a little bit hopeless, I must admit. It didn’t help when I sent an image (without the component) to my publisher and held the phone up to her daughter. Sweetie Faith said, “I like your picture very much. It’s quite good.” Thank you, I told her with a big smile. Then she added, “I especially like the hat!”
There was no hat.
A few days later (once I’d stopped crying), I called Cris (Remember her? My editor?) and begged for her help. She didn’t miss a beat: “Email Kevin Radthorne.”
Okay. If you are an epic-fantasy fan and you don’t know who I’m talking about then you need to sell your signed, first edition of “The Hobbit” to someone who deserves it. Kevin writes rich fantasy set in a world that has a decidedly Asian flavor. The books (there are two, divided into four thick parts) are so engaging you’d forget that it all isn’t real if it weren’t for the gorgeous magick. They are worthy reads, by far.
Oh, but that’s not all, no, that’s not all!
Kevin also did all four of his book covers. I know, I know. How do I know all this cool insidery stuff? Well, I’m just kick-butt that way. And Kevin says he does his covers on the Biography page of his website (www.kevinradthorne.com). Actually, I know about Kevin because, as an intern at Windstorm back in the day, I unpacked boxes of his books as one of my first duties. I feel in love with his artwork then and have been thrilled (and often breathless!) with his growing collection of artwork at his website.
I *could* have emailed Kevin ages ago, of course. I mean, I’m allowed to be a fangrrl because that only proves that I’m human (which you already know so well). But I never have because... I don’t know... I just never have. But now I not only had permission to write Kevin but a REASON!
Yeah, “Hey, you’re so cool, I love your books and artwork,” is a reason but he probably gets, like someone else I know, forty million fan messages and even though I *love* hearing from folks, I also sometimes feel overwhelmed. I want to answer everyone but, if I do, I will seriously run out of time to design anything new... let alone more MG3K expansions. I hate even saying that because I truly *do* love hearing from all the players. I haven’t heard a complaint in forever and there have been no more proposals of marriage (see what reprinting emails in my blog does?) and so I do feel a little thrill when my inbox fills up... but I also feel bad that folks have to wait so long to just get a little “Hey, thanks!” from pokey me.
Where was I?
Got it. So now I had a reason to write to Kevin and... I... did! Yay, me! Now here’s for the shocker: Kevin wrote back. Yes! I proposed a solution to my missing component problems and he graciously and gracefully told me, uh, that my solution sucked, basically. No, seriously, he actually just told me about this other way of getting what I needed—and tons of them in a handful of variants! It was so awesome.
Have you ever had a deal where you write to a stranger and they’re an ass? I mean, like they’re rude, brusk and heartless? Goodness knows, I’ve had this happen. Heck, I’ve had this happen with people I know! LOL! Writing Kevin was the exact OPPOSITE of that. He was helpful, patient, and articulate. But now for the kicker:
Kevin might (just might!) work with me on the new, top secret, super cool, totally amazing, international team project! OMG!
...
...
...
Wow. I just fainted. Hey, he might be too busy for a CCG (which can be draining and overwhelming in itself) but just the *idea* of working with him is amazing.
I must go to sleep now and dream of kick-butt characters all rendered in Radthorne style.
Hii-yahh! ;)
E.J.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Designing in My Sleep
I’ve been trying to regulate my work/sleep schedule to be more present for my mom and to be more available to my publisher when Mardi Gras 3000 is released for the retail market. But this new project—Project Pupae, my “time away from MG3K while everything reorganizes” game—is kicking my butt.
I’ve secured three of the eight researchers we need. All hard science experts. One is in the Czech Republic, one is in Cameroon, and the third is in Bangladesh. GMT is -8 for me. I set my tablet to pull messages 24/7 every ten minutes. You do *not* make scientists wait.
I get up with Mom and do breakfast and morning coffee chat. We’ve been using the Journal as a jumping off point, talking about articles and opinions. Then I work on the artwork for the game—I’m doing a lot of it this time—until lunch. We lunch together then I do my fifth of the research divided between the collaborators. Break for dinner and coffee then back to research until 9. Until midnight I playtest and trouble shoot with Mom or over the Internet with the virtual mock ups we set up.
Midnight to 2, I answer email, blog online or on paper for upload later, post on my regular forums, and play a game of MG3K HSOL (the “old school system” that’s being replaced with Gille Hawkin’s system).
Then I make phone calls for about an hour because in the middle of the night (2 AM PST) is when everyone I need right now is wide awake. By 3, I usually notice that my publisher’s AIM account has signed off and I take them closing as a sign that I can too.
In bed, I read the March issue of “Fast Company,” a business magazine that’s so insanely precocious and self-reverential that they actually seem to believe the fluff they pass off as news-worthy. This is “business” for the “bizness” set. A magazine all about mind share... which is to say a magazine all about a whole lot of nothing. I am pleased to have one and only one issue of this magazine because it is mind-numbing prattle. Which is exactly why I read it.
After thirty minutes of reading about... nothing of importance in the real world... my mind is totally blank and I drop the drivel and pick up my tablet. I work on game mechanics for an hour and half, timed, and not a moment more. The pressure and focus is good for me. It won’t allow me to get bogged down in my own what ifs. I don’t open any other windows. Just me and my Microsoft Journal for sketches and hand writing recognition. I pose questions to myself across the screen and answer in a different color. I save frequently.
More than once I’ve woken up with my forehead on the screen, the tablet long since hibernating.
By morning, around 9, over coffee and gatah, I scroll through my notes. I rarely remember any of it but, so far, its all been good.
Feels right to be working. Reminds me why I fell in love with this.
E.J.
I’ve secured three of the eight researchers we need. All hard science experts. One is in the Czech Republic, one is in Cameroon, and the third is in Bangladesh. GMT is -8 for me. I set my tablet to pull messages 24/7 every ten minutes. You do *not* make scientists wait.
I get up with Mom and do breakfast and morning coffee chat. We’ve been using the Journal as a jumping off point, talking about articles and opinions. Then I work on the artwork for the game—I’m doing a lot of it this time—until lunch. We lunch together then I do my fifth of the research divided between the collaborators. Break for dinner and coffee then back to research until 9. Until midnight I playtest and trouble shoot with Mom or over the Internet with the virtual mock ups we set up.
Midnight to 2, I answer email, blog online or on paper for upload later, post on my regular forums, and play a game of MG3K HSOL (the “old school system” that’s being replaced with Gille Hawkin’s system).
Then I make phone calls for about an hour because in the middle of the night (2 AM PST) is when everyone I need right now is wide awake. By 3, I usually notice that my publisher’s AIM account has signed off and I take them closing as a sign that I can too.
In bed, I read the March issue of “Fast Company,” a business magazine that’s so insanely precocious and self-reverential that they actually seem to believe the fluff they pass off as news-worthy. This is “business” for the “bizness” set. A magazine all about mind share... which is to say a magazine all about a whole lot of nothing. I am pleased to have one and only one issue of this magazine because it is mind-numbing prattle. Which is exactly why I read it.
After thirty minutes of reading about... nothing of importance in the real world... my mind is totally blank and I drop the drivel and pick up my tablet. I work on game mechanics for an hour and half, timed, and not a moment more. The pressure and focus is good for me. It won’t allow me to get bogged down in my own what ifs. I don’t open any other windows. Just me and my Microsoft Journal for sketches and hand writing recognition. I pose questions to myself across the screen and answer in a different color. I save frequently.
More than once I’ve woken up with my forehead on the screen, the tablet long since hibernating.
By morning, around 9, over coffee and gatah, I scroll through my notes. I rarely remember any of it but, so far, its all been good.
Feels right to be working. Reminds me why I fell in love with this.
E.J.
Monday, April 16, 2007
When Minds Collide
Six things I love this week:
1. Full of Pigs.com
A clean, safe website where you can anonymously rant about *anything* that’s bothering you. Debate is forbidden and support is aplenty.
2. Staples brand, Xeno model, 1.0 ballpoint pens with neon metal casings and eighteen, quarter inch, oval, raised rubber grips. The blue one.
3. Paprika.
4. Java script.
5. Tech-head forums where everyone speaks in binary and you get smarter just by lurking and forwarding posts to your friends with subject heads like: “Did you know??” or “Wow! Check this out!!”
6. Clandestine meetings of the minds where apparent strangers come together around an innovative idea and, eight hours later, are committed to the core and perfectly synchronized.
Every time a door closes...
I chose four. Surface details: forty-four years in age difference; four different ethnicities; three different religions; three orientations; three professional careers; twenty-nine published novels or games; fourteen published research papers; two patents; sixteen emails to me that proved: undeniable intelligence, critical thinking skills, stability, drive, passion, focus, reliability (a big one), and creativity. In truth, I knew *one* of them well, but knew none of them like I know them now. Who are they? My collaborators.
“Take some time away from Mardi Gras 3000 while the production team is doing their thing. But don’t take time away from game design.”
AIM provided a perfect private chatroom with fast access to FTP to share zipped folders of documents, images, sketches, maps, and, at one point, a Latin root dictionary. I took an hour to describe the new game: object, method, size, shape, scope. “Project Pupae” became the codename and everyone LOL’ed.
Questions tumbled and answered rolled free form for everyone. We quickly realized that our united knowledge was the perfect group mind. We each brought something different to the virtual table. No query was answered twice—none of us knew what the others knew. The puzzle was complete. Yes, we were all gamers but what kind? CCG, console, rpg, board game, real world hardcore sports, etc. I’m not sure there was ever a group of boxers, geeks and footballers who ever got along so well. We played devil’s advocate with problems until we had Googled and Wikied ourselves to every solution.
But chat is cheap and after a second hour had passed we decided to jump right in. Meetings where nothing happens but talk are just so ’90s. The work—from conception to completion—was charted out and divided up. Clap those hands and scatter! To the far flung corners of the Internet we queried, back-doored and took down notations. We LimeWired legally. We cruised Gutenberg. We checked copyrights, ISBNs, and patents. Everyone held their own and kept the pace.
Every fifteen minutes or so a chime and twenty lines of text would flash in the chatroom. A discovery! Then cheers. A question? Then answers. A problem?! Solution.
Just one idea is all it takes.
Mix with trust.
Add desire.
Repeat.
Begin.
E.J.
1. Full of Pigs.com
A clean, safe website where you can anonymously rant about *anything* that’s bothering you. Debate is forbidden and support is aplenty.
2. Staples brand, Xeno model, 1.0 ballpoint pens with neon metal casings and eighteen, quarter inch, oval, raised rubber grips. The blue one.
3. Paprika.
4. Java script.
5. Tech-head forums where everyone speaks in binary and you get smarter just by lurking and forwarding posts to your friends with subject heads like: “Did you know??” or “Wow! Check this out!!”
6. Clandestine meetings of the minds where apparent strangers come together around an innovative idea and, eight hours later, are committed to the core and perfectly synchronized.
Every time a door closes...
I chose four. Surface details: forty-four years in age difference; four different ethnicities; three different religions; three orientations; three professional careers; twenty-nine published novels or games; fourteen published research papers; two patents; sixteen emails to me that proved: undeniable intelligence, critical thinking skills, stability, drive, passion, focus, reliability (a big one), and creativity. In truth, I knew *one* of them well, but knew none of them like I know them now. Who are they? My collaborators.
“Take some time away from Mardi Gras 3000 while the production team is doing their thing. But don’t take time away from game design.”
AIM provided a perfect private chatroom with fast access to FTP to share zipped folders of documents, images, sketches, maps, and, at one point, a Latin root dictionary. I took an hour to describe the new game: object, method, size, shape, scope. “Project Pupae” became the codename and everyone LOL’ed.
Questions tumbled and answered rolled free form for everyone. We quickly realized that our united knowledge was the perfect group mind. We each brought something different to the virtual table. No query was answered twice—none of us knew what the others knew. The puzzle was complete. Yes, we were all gamers but what kind? CCG, console, rpg, board game, real world hardcore sports, etc. I’m not sure there was ever a group of boxers, geeks and footballers who ever got along so well. We played devil’s advocate with problems until we had Googled and Wikied ourselves to every solution.
But chat is cheap and after a second hour had passed we decided to jump right in. Meetings where nothing happens but talk are just so ’90s. The work—from conception to completion—was charted out and divided up. Clap those hands and scatter! To the far flung corners of the Internet we queried, back-doored and took down notations. We LimeWired legally. We cruised Gutenberg. We checked copyrights, ISBNs, and patents. Everyone held their own and kept the pace.
Every fifteen minutes or so a chime and twenty lines of text would flash in the chatroom. A discovery! Then cheers. A question? Then answers. A problem?! Solution.
Just one idea is all it takes.
Mix with trust.
Add desire.
Repeat.
Begin.
E.J.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Five, Five, Five Blogs in One!
I wrote this blog four times today. I knew for certain what I wanted to write and then I knew for certain that something else was more important / interesting / blog-worthy. Then I started filing blogs – save those for another day when I *should* blog but have nothing useful to say. How wrong is that? Like, how “worthy” are the blogs you read regularly? How “useful” are they? Aren’t blogs just supposed to be random, stream of conscious joy rides with a person you find mildly intriguing and/or bizarre?
So, instead of squirreling away my musings, here are four blogs summarized and condensed into fifty words or less and then a fifth blog, full length and blotted, about Marcia (hi, M!) my college roommate. Can’t wait to see what’s up with the M-Girl? Oh, baby, have I got a chip for you ;)
Holy Moly, Batgrrl! We’ve Got Prepped Decks
My publisher emailed. She wheeled and dealed. She threatened and charmed. She landed us a printer that will prep the decks. Watch out MTG. Here comes Mardi Gras!
Why Doesn’t “Gay Gamer” Mean Happy?
Why is it that when I post on a glbt forum I get pornographic PMs when all the glbt people I know are so freaking NOT like that? Why can’t one of my straight-laced, level-headed glbt friends run a glbt forum?
Flowers from Julie and Diane
“I don’t know how you feel, E.J., because I only have my mom and she’s never died. But I guess you’re feeling really bad and flowers won’t help. But my mom says we should send them anyway. I’m sorry your dad died.” Thank you, Julie.
Coffee with You
You drove twenty miles and pretended to need creamer. What I needed was your arms around me. To stand in silence. Rest my cheek against your hair. Thank you for always being exactly what you seem.
And now for the main attraction….
When Your College Roommate Comes Calling
Word is getting out. Friends of friends of friends are calling to offer their condolences. This is wearing on my mom. She says, “This is a never ending cycle. I am walking in to find him, still, again and again, over and over.” She cries silently, tears on her face unacknowledged, and unplugs the phone. She walks out of the kitchen and I know where she is going.
My father’s voice in my ear, “Take care of her.”
God, I love my mom.
She is so fierce. She is so lost. Her whole life was imagined in her mind before she was a teen ager. And then it went in a completely different direction. Sometimes, in the very early morning, I see her and she is still that girl. Not even quite a teen. Wondering. Wondering what happened.
My father said once to me, “I was your mother’s consolation prize.” I never knew what he meant really and I never asked. He loved her with every ounce of who he was. He never spoke a word against her. “She tries so hard,” he told me more than once when she and I butted heads.
I plugged the phone back in. I decided to take all the calls.
And they came.
And I said the same things, and told the same story, and it became me who walked in that morning with my father’s coffee. It was me who knew just by looking. It was me who set down the mug. Sat on the bed. And cried silently, endlessly. An hour going by. The silence thick in the room even as the house woke up with the sounds of breakfast and guests and family.
The mug sits on the dresser. The coffee is cold. I can’t take it away.
“I know what you’re feeling, E. I really do. Wow. I mean, my parents are still alive. Both of them. My dad is the one who called and told me. But I totally know what you must be going through right now.”
No, you don’t. You’re not even trying.
“So, are you still acting?”
Only right now. On the phone with you.
“It’s been so long. I can’t remember the last time we spoke.”
The day I found out you were ******* our drama professor.
“I always felt like you were so controlled. Like you had a secret. I wondered if maybe… you know?”
I don’t have any secrets, Marcia, because I’d be afraid some college roommate would blab them all over her pink MySpace blog.
“I’ve been following your blog when you write it. ‘Girl Geek.’ It’s really punky. You must have fun just going on like that.”
No comment. No, wait, I have one: When we were on the phone, I wish I’d had the presence of mind to tell you you’re an idiot.
“You must feel so betrayed. That’s what it’s like. But just because your dad died, he didn’t betray you, E.”
I know betrayal and I know Psychology 101. I took the same classes, Marcia. I wrote your damn paper on the stages of grief, which you seem to have forgotten. I know betrayal—intimately, socially, recently—and my father has nothing to do with it.
“And you’re angry. Of course. I mean, you’re hiding it, but you have anger in there.”
You’re right. I am angry. How’s this for showing it?
Do me a favor? Lose my number.
Grrr.
E.J.
So, instead of squirreling away my musings, here are four blogs summarized and condensed into fifty words or less and then a fifth blog, full length and blotted, about Marcia (hi, M!) my college roommate. Can’t wait to see what’s up with the M-Girl? Oh, baby, have I got a chip for you ;)
Holy Moly, Batgrrl! We’ve Got Prepped Decks
My publisher emailed. She wheeled and dealed. She threatened and charmed. She landed us a printer that will prep the decks. Watch out MTG. Here comes Mardi Gras!
Why Doesn’t “Gay Gamer” Mean Happy?
Why is it that when I post on a glbt forum I get pornographic PMs when all the glbt people I know are so freaking NOT like that? Why can’t one of my straight-laced, level-headed glbt friends run a glbt forum?
Flowers from Julie and Diane
“I don’t know how you feel, E.J., because I only have my mom and she’s never died. But I guess you’re feeling really bad and flowers won’t help. But my mom says we should send them anyway. I’m sorry your dad died.” Thank you, Julie.
Coffee with You
You drove twenty miles and pretended to need creamer. What I needed was your arms around me. To stand in silence. Rest my cheek against your hair. Thank you for always being exactly what you seem.
And now for the main attraction….
When Your College Roommate Comes Calling
Word is getting out. Friends of friends of friends are calling to offer their condolences. This is wearing on my mom. She says, “This is a never ending cycle. I am walking in to find him, still, again and again, over and over.” She cries silently, tears on her face unacknowledged, and unplugs the phone. She walks out of the kitchen and I know where she is going.
My father’s voice in my ear, “Take care of her.”
God, I love my mom.
She is so fierce. She is so lost. Her whole life was imagined in her mind before she was a teen ager. And then it went in a completely different direction. Sometimes, in the very early morning, I see her and she is still that girl. Not even quite a teen. Wondering. Wondering what happened.
My father said once to me, “I was your mother’s consolation prize.” I never knew what he meant really and I never asked. He loved her with every ounce of who he was. He never spoke a word against her. “She tries so hard,” he told me more than once when she and I butted heads.
I plugged the phone back in. I decided to take all the calls.
And they came.
And I said the same things, and told the same story, and it became me who walked in that morning with my father’s coffee. It was me who knew just by looking. It was me who set down the mug. Sat on the bed. And cried silently, endlessly. An hour going by. The silence thick in the room even as the house woke up with the sounds of breakfast and guests and family.
The mug sits on the dresser. The coffee is cold. I can’t take it away.
“I know what you’re feeling, E. I really do. Wow. I mean, my parents are still alive. Both of them. My dad is the one who called and told me. But I totally know what you must be going through right now.”
No, you don’t. You’re not even trying.
“So, are you still acting?”
Only right now. On the phone with you.
“It’s been so long. I can’t remember the last time we spoke.”
The day I found out you were ******* our drama professor.
“I always felt like you were so controlled. Like you had a secret. I wondered if maybe… you know?”
I don’t have any secrets, Marcia, because I’d be afraid some college roommate would blab them all over her pink MySpace blog.
“I’ve been following your blog when you write it. ‘Girl Geek.’ It’s really punky. You must have fun just going on like that.”
No comment. No, wait, I have one: When we were on the phone, I wish I’d had the presence of mind to tell you you’re an idiot.
“You must feel so betrayed. That’s what it’s like. But just because your dad died, he didn’t betray you, E.”
I know betrayal and I know Psychology 101. I took the same classes, Marcia. I wrote your damn paper on the stages of grief, which you seem to have forgotten. I know betrayal—intimately, socially, recently—and my father has nothing to do with it.
“And you’re angry. Of course. I mean, you’re hiding it, but you have anger in there.”
You’re right. I am angry. How’s this for showing it?
Do me a favor? Lose my number.
Grrr.
E.J.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Gaming for a Living
Posted on the Mardi Gras 3000 Forum athttp://www.mardigras3000.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=311#311
by my publisher Jennifer DiMarcoon
Thu Apr 12, 2007 12:31 am
>>Mardi Gras 3000 Employment
As Mardi Gras 3000 prepares for its national retail launch, we are organizing the project (and, by extension, E.J.’s career) and assigning managers. Managers will be hired from within our existing staff and from within the MG3K community. I’ve chosen to open this opportunity to the community here because it is of utmost importance to me that all managers be personally passionate about this first of E.J.’s games. I will not hire individuals driven by profit. We are an Equal Opportunity employer and I am blind to age and location as well. None of the positions need to be full-time and all of them can be handled remotely (you do not need to move to Washington State).
I’ll be accepting resumes and letters of intent through April 20, 2007. My decisions will be announced on April 23, 2007. Your resume should be tailored to why you are qualified for the position you desire. Your email should tell me specifically why you want the position, why you’ll be good at it, and how you will achieve the position’s goals. Some of the positions pay a set monthly stipend (marked #). Other positions pay a royalty based on sales (marked *).
The positions are:
*General Manager
All Angel games. Creation and implementation of marketing campaigns. Growth of the MG3K brand as well as introduction of supporting Angel brands.
#Production Manager
MG3K only. Design and layout of editions, packaging, displays, and all other support materials. Creation of materials required by other managers.
*CCG Manager
MG3K only. Creation and/organization of rules systems for Basic, Advanced and tournament play both online and offline. Creation and/organization of rules systems for boosters and other forthcoming products. Organization of tournament circuit. Officiating of rules and play variants. Creation of Player’s Handbook. Growth of player base.
*Online Manager
MG3K only. Design and implementation of an online versions of the game both Basic and Advanced. Design and implementation of mardigras3000.com and its subpages including but not limited to the On Tab Instant Store, Dance Floor, Gossip Booth, Expert’s Corner, Player Pages, and Rumble Room. Managing alliances with SecondLife and Kaneva. Funneling online orders to the correct channels. Management of subscriber database. Growth of subscriber base.
#Votary Manager
MG3K only. Admin to the forum and upkeep. Manage moderators. Design and implement campaigns to increase awareness of brand among teen and adult authors online and offline. Design and implement campaigns that specifically produce MG3K fiction. Manage authors of in-character blogs on Blogger and MySpace. Growth of forum membership and active author pool.
Any manager can envision and request materials from the Production Manager. The PM will clear all projects through me. I will supervise all managers. Managers will work directly with each other and E.J., as needed. Positions will be granted for a two month probation period and then reviewed. If progress has been successful, an annual employment contract will be issued.
Some of these positions are currently held by staff members. But these appointments are not official appointments. Staff should apply officially now. I will not roll positions over automatically. Open market hiring gives everyone the opportunity to really think about what they have to offer and what they want. As Gille Hawkins once send to me: “Security breeds complicacy.” I want only the best for MG3K and this is where it begins.
Thank you all for your time, your dedication and your interest.
Jennifer<<
Thank *you,* Jennifer, for being completely unwilling to give up. You march into the unknown with incredible courage and inspiration and I value that.
E.J.
by my publisher Jennifer DiMarcoon
Thu Apr 12, 2007 12:31 am
>>Mardi Gras 3000 Employment
As Mardi Gras 3000 prepares for its national retail launch, we are organizing the project (and, by extension, E.J.’s career) and assigning managers. Managers will be hired from within our existing staff and from within the MG3K community. I’ve chosen to open this opportunity to the community here because it is of utmost importance to me that all managers be personally passionate about this first of E.J.’s games. I will not hire individuals driven by profit. We are an Equal Opportunity employer and I am blind to age and location as well. None of the positions need to be full-time and all of them can be handled remotely (you do not need to move to Washington State).
I’ll be accepting resumes and letters of intent through April 20, 2007. My decisions will be announced on April 23, 2007. Your resume should be tailored to why you are qualified for the position you desire. Your email should tell me specifically why you want the position, why you’ll be good at it, and how you will achieve the position’s goals. Some of the positions pay a set monthly stipend (marked #). Other positions pay a royalty based on sales (marked *).
The positions are:
*General Manager
All Angel games. Creation and implementation of marketing campaigns. Growth of the MG3K brand as well as introduction of supporting Angel brands.
#Production Manager
MG3K only. Design and layout of editions, packaging, displays, and all other support materials. Creation of materials required by other managers.
*CCG Manager
MG3K only. Creation and/organization of rules systems for Basic, Advanced and tournament play both online and offline. Creation and/organization of rules systems for boosters and other forthcoming products. Organization of tournament circuit. Officiating of rules and play variants. Creation of Player’s Handbook. Growth of player base.
*Online Manager
MG3K only. Design and implementation of an online versions of the game both Basic and Advanced. Design and implementation of mardigras3000.com and its subpages including but not limited to the On Tab Instant Store, Dance Floor, Gossip Booth, Expert’s Corner, Player Pages, and Rumble Room. Managing alliances with SecondLife and Kaneva. Funneling online orders to the correct channels. Management of subscriber database. Growth of subscriber base.
#Votary Manager
MG3K only. Admin to the forum and upkeep. Manage moderators. Design and implement campaigns to increase awareness of brand among teen and adult authors online and offline. Design and implement campaigns that specifically produce MG3K fiction. Manage authors of in-character blogs on Blogger and MySpace. Growth of forum membership and active author pool.
Any manager can envision and request materials from the Production Manager. The PM will clear all projects through me. I will supervise all managers. Managers will work directly with each other and E.J., as needed. Positions will be granted for a two month probation period and then reviewed. If progress has been successful, an annual employment contract will be issued.
Some of these positions are currently held by staff members. But these appointments are not official appointments. Staff should apply officially now. I will not roll positions over automatically. Open market hiring gives everyone the opportunity to really think about what they have to offer and what they want. As Gille Hawkins once send to me: “Security breeds complicacy.” I want only the best for MG3K and this is where it begins.
Thank you all for your time, your dedication and your interest.
Jennifer<<
Thank *you,* Jennifer, for being completely unwilling to give up. You march into the unknown with incredible courage and inspiration and I value that.
E.J.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Life and Death
My father, Poulon Angel, died on Easter morning. He was fifty-six.
There really aren't any words to describe how I feel so I suppose I still feel numb.
My father was my listening ear. He was the last and the gentlest to point out my mistakes. We would walk or drive for hours talking about religion, politics, love, fate. He was utterly unable to be judgmental of anyone. He never said a harsh, sarcastic or hurtful word. He was calm, especially when I was rattled. He never played the victim, never gave in to anger and never complained, even when being a dark-skinned, gentle man seemed to complicate his life. In his stillness, he never allowed my very intense, powerful mother to overpower him. They were equals and both of them knew it and celebrated it.
Without him, my mom and I sit now, sometimes for hours, and stare at each other. We don't know what to say. Sex? Boys? Girls? Dancing? Menstruation? Fear? I never talked to my mom about any of this. My father explained life to me with a certain careful matter of factness that never came with questions or platitudes. My mother was the one who threw my date out my bedroom window when I was sixteen.
I told my father once, "What if I never find a man as perfect as you are?" He laughed and said, "Then I suppose you'll have to find a woman." I always thought that was the most original response a father could give a daughter.
I will miss his dry sense of humor, his unwavering loyalty, his honesty and sincerity. I will miss our walks. I will miss our drives. I will miss that one person that never, no matter how wrong I was, found fault with me, or blamed me, or turned away from me.
I will miss him because he is my father but more so because he is my friend.
E.J.
There really aren't any words to describe how I feel so I suppose I still feel numb.
My father was my listening ear. He was the last and the gentlest to point out my mistakes. We would walk or drive for hours talking about religion, politics, love, fate. He was utterly unable to be judgmental of anyone. He never said a harsh, sarcastic or hurtful word. He was calm, especially when I was rattled. He never played the victim, never gave in to anger and never complained, even when being a dark-skinned, gentle man seemed to complicate his life. In his stillness, he never allowed my very intense, powerful mother to overpower him. They were equals and both of them knew it and celebrated it.
Without him, my mom and I sit now, sometimes for hours, and stare at each other. We don't know what to say. Sex? Boys? Girls? Dancing? Menstruation? Fear? I never talked to my mom about any of this. My father explained life to me with a certain careful matter of factness that never came with questions or platitudes. My mother was the one who threw my date out my bedroom window when I was sixteen.
I told my father once, "What if I never find a man as perfect as you are?" He laughed and said, "Then I suppose you'll have to find a woman." I always thought that was the most original response a father could give a daughter.
I will miss his dry sense of humor, his unwavering loyalty, his honesty and sincerity. I will miss our walks. I will miss our drives. I will miss that one person that never, no matter how wrong I was, found fault with me, or blamed me, or turned away from me.
I will miss him because he is my father but more so because he is my friend.
E.J.
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